Fasten your seatbelts, the Time vortex is coming

Well, according to this website it is, so don't blame us if you happen to file your taxes too late.

Apparently there is a "time vortex" hovering above Antarctica; and not just any time vortex, but a huge and deadly time vortex - the consequence of some unidentified (and possibly unidentifiable) technology, that may or may not be of terrestrial origin.

Supposedly a spy satellite discovered an ancient man-made structure or apparatus under the ice of Antartica, exactly ten years ago, back in April 2001. The news was "quashed", they say, but an excavation project was started by the USA military, to which other countries objected - formally, no less, which normally means through official channels. Rather startlingly, "an aide to Nicole Fontaine" - the latter was the president of the EU at the time - allegedly issued the following statement:

"If it's something the US military has constructed down there, then they're violating the international Antarctic Treaty. If not, then it's something that's at least 12,000 years old, which is how long ice has covered Antarctica. That would make it the oldest man-made structure on the planet. The Pentagon should heed the calls of Congress and release whatever it's hiding."

However, said "aide to Nicole Fontaine" remains nameless (as far as we know), hence fairly suspect.

It appears that the USA military hauled a giant earth borer, Subterrene (that's original... but hey, at least they didn't call it Spot or Sparky) to the Antarctica, specifically to a secret USA base there.

Subterrene, the giant earth borer

Thereupon followed "a mysterious medical emergency that forced an evacuation of unnamed personnel during the depths of the Antarctic winter" (I may be totally wrong - haven't checked this yet - but wasn't that the woman who discovered she had breast cancer?) and an "unusual" earthquake. Supposedly its epicentre was right where the ancient structure had been spotted.

Then, in November 2002, after much hectic activity in the area and magnetic anomalies galore, a California TV crew filming in the Antarctic went missing.

After more bizarre events, the scientists on Antarctica allegedly "witnessed the creation of a time vortex". They became aware of a "spinning gray fog" which spiralled overhead, apparently displacing clouds and air currents. (This according to an alleged statement by a physicist who was there, Mariann McLein.)

The vortex did not disperse. Instead it ate the weather balloon they sent up to investigate it.

After a few minutes, the team decided to retrieve the balloon. After much effort, they did. And - here comes the climax - the chronometer attached to it read: January 27, 1965.

My guess would be that something messed up the chronometer all right - but it doesn't necessarily follow that, somewhere in that vortex or anywhere near it, was January 27th, 1965. 

Nor is the website to which I am referring claiming that it was. My tongue-in-cheek notwithstanding, it is a very well written article, so I'll borrow their conclusion:

If indeed a magnetic time vortex is appearing and disappearing over Antarctica--and if the phenomena [sic] is not natural, but generated by some unknown technology deep under the icecap--it may reveal the physics of time and could potentially allow control of the past, and by implication the future.

The size and location of the alleged "time vortex" on March 20, 2011.  

Taken from here.

So, if this was published before it becomes news, and the Time vortex really is there and operational... perhaps this will never become news? :-)

The only way we can determine that is by checking whether this article was intended as an April Fools' joke. If it was, then there is definitely a time vortex fidgeting with our time(s)!

P.S. Don't forget to come back, because I can tell this is going to be SOOO edited in the next few days!

P.P.S. Let the record show that other members of this team are opposing my tone (even though it's quite benevolent!).

"Must you be so cynical?" asked one of them.

Yes, I must. Somebody has to be, unless we want legitimate wonders to be diluted by a deluge of fake ones.

And nobody would be more willing or eager to admit the error of my ways than myself.


ADDENDUM (September 9, 2011):

Yes, finally - here's the edit I promised.
Of course, it's highly probable you won't like it... unless you're a fan of finding your path by the light of the truth, instead of being bogmired in a morass of fiction or deceptive half-truths.

Here are my preliminary findings so far.

* Mariann McLein may very well be a USA physicist, as claimed, but it seems somewhat odd that her name should appear only in search results that lead to this "time vortex" story. No bibliography, no resume, no nothing... She appears in versions of this very story only.
It may be too hasty of me, but I have concluded that: a) either she is not a particularly prominent - hence credible - member of the physicists' community; or b) she does not exist at all.
If you have evidence to the contrary, by all means, send it to us, please.

* The second discovery is as dismal as it is amusing (and I am kicking myself as I type this, for not having searched the web before writing this entry in the first place).
Judging by the date of this article, the story above was first reported no later (but probably sooner) than January 2004. It is seven years old at least.
Why did it only make a splash now? (I know, I know: it's the time vortex's fault.)
Worst of all, it appears that it originally appeared on the English Pravda website.
Need I say more?

Possibly.
I just can't think of anything else to say right now.
If and when I do, I'll be back.

On the bright side, however, at least the article mentions a few people, like Nikolai A. Kozyrev, or Lavrentiy Beria himself, whose identity has been firmly established, and we have history - in the latter's case a very bloody one - to prove it.

It is an interesting article, I'll give it that. It is much more interesting than this rant, that's for sure.
Go ahead and read it. You probably won't be sorry.
Here's a teaser:

A tragedy occurred on August 30, 1989: an extremely strong explosion sounded at the Institute's branch office on the Anjou islands. The explosion destroyed not only the experimental module of 780 tons but also the archipelago itself that covered the area of 2 square kilometers.

According to one of the versions of the tragedy, the module with three experimenters collided with a large object, probably an asteroid, in the parallel world or heading toward the parallel world. Having lost its propulsion system, the module probably remained in the parallel world.

The last record made in the framework of the experiment and kept at the Institute archives says:

"We are dying but keep on conducting the experiment. It is very dark here; we see all objects become double, our hands and legs are transparent, we can see veins and bones through the skin. The oxygen supply will be enough for 43 hours, the life support system is seriously damaged. Our best regards to the families and friends!"

Then the transmission suddenly stopped...

 I told you it was interesting.
Too bad it was published in English Pravda.